So it's July 8 and already there's been so much going on. July 3 was the final Warped Tour. We (me, Jen, Boo) got up so early and headed out to Hollywood Casino Amphitheater. We were in a position that as luck had it, we were the first ones in. We cruised to find the lineups for the day and headed to the Mutant Stage sections (red/white). The white one is where we planted ourselves. Sharptooth was up first and I was excited to see a band with a female lead. Then it fell flat for me. I feel that if you use your platform to get out your feelings -yay. By any and all means, heal yourself. For me - this 'me too' movement is simply a male bashing agenda removing due process is disgusting. I'm all for equality. Of sexes, gender identities, orientations, etc. But the very second it takes an unjust and un-American turn - I'm irritated. So to see this ...what I feel was male bashing and feeling of a forceful pro Queer rant. I tuned out. It wore me thin and then just had this taste of nasty in my mouth. I was anxious for it to be over. Forceful acceptance is what turns many people off. I feel if you live life as you wish and be respectful of dissenting opinions and have meaningful conversations you could alter the dialogue. Seemingly forcing it down someone's throat is not okay. So when they were done - I was elated.
Chelsea Grin was next and their set was great. THEN it was our boys Ice Nine Kills. They killed as we knew they would but all of us were all exhausted right then. We sought shade and rested for a bit before our real real real loves came on and then we assumed our front row right side space for Motionless in White. It was hot and the crowd was so large but we gave it our all and so did they. It was perfect but with that, we were done. We'd had plans to see more bands but exhaustion set in and we left.
The 4th was miserable because Bronson is so deathly afraid of fireworks.
Yesterday - July 7 I got a phone call from 104.9 and they said I'd won front row for Evanescence. At first I thought I'd just sell them but I was super excited of the thought of going as it was an orchestra backed show. So I got ready and we headed there. At first I was ok if I missed the opener I'd thought. I'd never heard of Lindsey Stirling but from the moment she stepped on stage, I was impressed. She's a beautiful artist and performer. Amy Lee came out for one song and just seeing her I was unexpectedly overcome with emotions. She's a soul with a voice that transforms life for even a moment. Lindsey was amazing. Evanescence/Amy Lee was phenomenal. Just breath taking to watch and hear. I'm in awe of artists who can be better live than on studio produced & mastered recordings. But she was everything anyone could've expected and then some. I sit here today glad I didn't sell the tickets. I do enjoy winning things but this win really touched me in so may ways. And I needed this right now.
On the 13th I go to the regular doctor but on the 16th I go to the rheumatologist and I'm afraid to be honest. I've read up on this for months now and I'm just preparing myself for the worst. I sort of want to hear the reality of this shit I'm up against. Will this be what eventually ends my life? Is it far off? I increased my life insurance because I'm just nervous. Who will love Jen, the kids, Heather and Bronson if I'm gone sooner than later? It's so scary but I guess that's life. We don't know when it is and it's better that way I suppose. I don't want to be morbid but I want to be as real with myself as I can.
Between the two doctors appointments we (me, Jen, Boo) are going to see Zombie/Manson on the 14th. I'm sure it will be awesome-ish. I haven't seen Manson without Twiggy so it's bitter for me. Zombie makes the Boo so happy so I'm excited to be there with her. I hope it's a blast. ♥
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